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i am a dork, and i consider eating and fucking with people a hobby. so i guess that's why i have friends

John Reyes @xellon

Age 31, Male

slouching, pouting

Joined on 5/4/08

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xellon's News

Posted by xellon - April 19th, 2011


you know, Assassins Creed, Prototype, Halo, even Devil May fucking Cry
but one particular game that really gets me
Left 4 dead really sinks deep in my heart
fucking L4D
I FREAKIN' LOVE L4D
zombies
ZOMBIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

i wish the zombie apocalypse is real

i also love gore
that is all

(though in reality, i really suck at gaming. YAY i feel old now)

i love video games


Posted by xellon - April 9th, 2010


no not really, i just wanted to say that
oooookay, new post. more videos.
not much in the mood right now, so i'll just keep this short.
i am here to present you, my lovely audience, five videos of-- wait for it..
AWESOMEness.
video streaming ENGAGE

okay i'm gonna admit that this first one probably wont be as wicked as the others. consider this as a warm-up.
a series of infomercial parodies courtesy of youtube user jacksfilms

.
/* */
next is a video masterpiece from youtube user dayjoborchestra. i don't know about you guys, but i think this is total genius.
a dubbed episode of the star trek series

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well ain't that something. moving on.
as any internet junkie would know who the trolololo guy is, i'd like to introduce trolololo cat, you're definitely gonna have a good laugh at this if you know who the trolololo guy is. if you don't know him, you can go and fuck yourself. but watch this video first before you do so.

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/* */
next video is from a commercial for japanese milk noodles.
'weird', you say
just you watch and then think again.

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/* */
finallyy, the last video. you're probably wondering why i'm putting you through all this torture. it's because i can.
this last one is from attack of the show's self proclaimed "rock band" distended warranty.
mostly known to dorks, geeks and nerds because of their hit single 'red ring of death' on which they're referring to--
blah blah blah let's just get on with it
here's distended warranty with
iHate, therefore iPad
PS. I LOVE ATTACK OF THE SHOW on g4tv.

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/* */
let's clear a few things out, I in no way DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE VIDEOS, i'm just here to present them.
i would also like to apologize if i'm not offensive or annoying enough, i'm still working on it.

wanna know something else i don't own? the following picture

and now, back by popular demand..


Posted by xellon - December 5th, 2009


i made a new one
sigh
i'm not really in the mood to type right now
so i'll just make this one short
the last post was just experimental
it means i put on vids that i thought was cool and/or funny
so it came to my conclusion that people would most likely respond to AWESOME vids
so i guess that's it
enjoy bitches..

hey does anyone still remembers that arcade game Mortal Kombat?
well, fanboys, dorks and geeks do
(i'm a dork, in case you're wondering)
surely all gamers may have seen all the fatalities
but here are some rejected ones that may knock you're socks off

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/* */
now the next one, is a personal favorite
the reason is not only that i am a boxxy fan
but because this is total genius
get ready for a whole three minutes of laughter

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/* */
okay this next one is also a favorite
and i also think this one is pure genius
here's andy sandberg showing us, what we can do for fun outside our basements
(courtesy of Saturday Night Live)

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/* */
okay now will everyone would please tell me who's your all time favorite SNL cast besides jimmy fallon?
[crickets churping sounds]
that's what i thought
and of course any fan would know that he's a master impressionist
now see him in one of his best impressions
(besides his adam sandler impression)

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/* */
i would like to end this stream of videos with this hilarious video about mabel and allen
no no it's not a romance vid or something something like that
just take a look
you'll thank me later

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/* */
READ THIS BEFORE COMPLAINING:
i would first like to thank machinia.com for the mortal kombat vid
of course SNL
jimmy fallon
hulu.com
and youtube for making this all possible
and i would like to apologize for the lack of video quality
i had to make use of what i've got
MIRITE?

oh and here's another home made boxxy pic
(if you like it, i have a real clever one on the last post)
happy flapping people :3

the other one was boring, sooo....


Posted by xellon - August 24th, 2009


for my next trick
i will attempt to give you, the viewers, mind blowing videos (well, sort of) that will
definitely-sort of-kinda-gonna blow you freakin' socks off

the first video will be from dart vader
we all know him as the dude from star wars
but what we didn't know is that he can dance
that's right folks, he CAN
and he's good too

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/* */
now this second video will be your last
no i'm just kidding...
... or am i?..

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/* */
you made it through?
holy crap
uhh uhhh
wait a sec
i'll just go get some more videos
for the mean time
let's go to commercial shall we
:3
(courtesy of nbc)

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/* */
i also included songs that you can dance to while flapping your ding dongs silly

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/* */

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/* */
or you can just rock out with these

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/* */

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/* */
now these videos may be altered in the not so distant future
but for the mean time
enjoy
happy flapping everyone

looky what i made with MSpaint
ain't it dandy? :3

finally, some videos...


Posted by xellon - June 1st, 2009


this
is a list of my friends on NG
if you have problems with the following names
please contact your local authorities
(or just send me a PM, that'll do i guess)

acedareaper
albatros412
alucardxmeow
awesomeiam
bloodsuckingmonster
berthon
dragoproductions
gamer30hrplus
goron666
greatwh1teshark
gulut
hellhound-IX
midnight113
picosux224
randompicdaily
rewindfr0g
richard91b
spartan500
therealanimator
turtlekirby101
theflamealchemist
uzzan101
witt180
xellon2
xellon3
xellonismahbff
kurtwilder2027
zeroinsanity
redstripedd
gorzahg
nitrogyen
bigmac990
awesomepico3
rachelraye
rabid-monkey101
sargennipple
narlk
smoG878
wafflevoyager
bloodsuckingmonster2
shadowthewerehog
sinning-girl-2
asquared94
flashdude33
theimortalcj
rednikaiag
megafart117
tomashcu
dlh3963
darksoul42
grumpytom

remember:
nobody dies a virgin
because life fucks us all

350 comments on the last post, winner:kirby


Posted by xellon - April 21st, 2009


level four kiddies
level four
:3

whoooohooo
and here's a random pic that made me giggle

P.S.
google tells no lies
o_0

dun dun dun


Posted by xellon - April 19th, 2009


my last post had 100+ comments
just like the dalmatians

anyways
i have a clone
(i know it's sooo cool)
and i'm making a big deal out of it
ain't it dandy
:3
clickidee click
the link link link

he's sooo dandy
just like me
not exactly that dandy
you get my point

sooo
i guess that's it

always remember
muffins
are nice
:3

well ain't that dandy


Posted by xellon - April 6th, 2009


ain't it dandy?

college plans:
-try not to fuck up
-get more girls
-stop drinking(i already stopped smoking, soo...)
-eat breakfast regularly
-make my mom proud
-earn more money
-form a stable band
-love muffins and newgrounds more